The Party
by Falcitus
Summary: The Malfoys insist that the Lestranges throw part of a party at their house. The results are disastrous.
1. The Letter

Author's Note: This fanfiction is not serious. None of the plot that happens here is part of my personal canon in any way. This is set 3 or 4 years before the Lestranges go to Azkaban.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books or any characters in them.**

There was an unnervingly fancy envelope in the mail. It puzzled Rabastan. They rarely got mail in such decorative envelopes. He opened it. The letter was decorated, too. It read:

_To the Lestranges:_

_We insist that you participate in the annual party by throwing part of it at your manor. We will come over Saturday to provide general guidelines for the decoration._

_-Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy_

"Irritating." Well, it was probably a good idea to show it to Rodolphus and Bellatrix. He climbed the stairs, carrying the letter.

"They expect us to go along with it, to host their stupid party?" Bellatrix was enraged. "It can't hurt to let them come over, Bella." Rodolphus didn't seem nearly as annoyed as Bellatrix.


	2. The Books

_**AN: As mentioned in the 1st chapter AN, this is not part of my personal canon. If you review, you may have a free pizza at the end of the chapter. Also, this chapter has skipped over several days, during which nothing happens, and gone to Saturday.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books, movies, or any character in them. If you want the originals, go read the Harry Potter books--this is just a fanfiction.**_

_Rabastan was annoyed. They had made him_ decorate the entrance hall…well, sort of decorate. With 'keep out' signs. _He _wasn't going to participate in the Malfoys' stupid party. 

The bell rang. "You get it, Rabastan," shouted Rodolphus from somewhere upstairs. Rabastan was infuriated. What did they think he was, their servant? The bell rang again. And again. Finally, he got up and unlocked it. There was no window in the door; with luck, they wouldn't realize what he'd done, and even if they did, they wouldn't open the door themselves; they were too proud. He went back to the couch. The doorbell rang again, and one of them was using the knocker. Finally, just to keep them quiet, he opened the door. He had been correct; it was the Malfoys. 

"'Keep Out?' What is this mess?" Lucius sounded annoyed, but vaguely amused. Vaguely. 

"Don't blame me, blame _them_."

"Resentful as ever. Always looking for someone else to blame. Typical."

"Stop trying to analyze my personality; that's for Muggles."

"In any case, where are Rodolphus and Bellatrix?"

"Bellatrix is away. Rodolphus is upstairs somewhere."

Something came flying down the stairs. Upon closer inspection, it proved to be a book entitled 'War and Peace.' 

"He heard you."

"Just come down and save me the trouble of picking the books up later."

Another book came down the stairs, this one very narrowly missing Rabastan's nose. 

"Come down and don't throw another book."

Rodolphus's response was climbing down the stairs and throwing books at Rabastan at intervals. None of them actually hit Rabastan.


	3. The Recipes

**AN: As has been previously mentioned, reviewers will receive pizza. This is not going to be a long chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books or movies.**

"You're here," grumbled Rodolphus.

"Yes, I am."

"Go away."

"No. You will not decorate if I leave, and we are directing half the guests to your house."

"Bella won't be pleased."

"Narcissa shall attempt to persuade her."

"She won't have much success."

Rabastan sighed and turned to the stairs. He wasn't going to get anything out of sticking around, that was for sure. He would try to find a recipe.

The cookbook shed some dust when he took it off the shelf. He hadn't used this one in a long time. _Party Recipes to Drive Your Guests Away_. Interesting title. Oddly specific to his situation, too.

He flipped to the section on salads, hoping to find something that wasn't actually poisonous. There was one called Raw Herring and Lettuce with Spoiled Cream Sauce. Possibly. Roasted spinach and old vinaigrette? Not disgusting enough. Old lettuce, burnt croutons, and goat cheese? Perfect. Now to pick an entree. Undercooked spaghetti with chocolate sauce? No. Boiled bagels with crabapple and old pasta? Yes! Now the dessert. Roasted chocolate cake with salted grapefruit slices sounded appropriate.


End file.
